"Dartboard Dwayne" (single, 2024)

1. Dartboard Dwayne
(words by Brad Kleiman; music by Jim Williams)

Acorn Slim - vocals, guitar

recorded circa 2020

cover art by Brad Kleiman

lyrics:

There’s a spear in my beer,
and I didn’t order it that way
Magically it appeared
like a homing pigeon in Barnegat Bay

If it can’t be explained,
it’s probably Dartboard Dwayne
He’s got the wildest aim,
and it can’t be tamed
It’s an awkward game
for Dartboard Dwayne

My drink’s been spiked
Somebody put something in my drink
There’s a chip in the ice
like a fishing hole in a hockey rink

If it can’t be explained,
it’s probably Dartboard Dwayne
He’s got the wildest aim,
and it can’t be tamed
It’s an awkward game
for Dartboard Dwayne

Once, he hit the bullseye,
but not because he tried
He simply slipped on a banana one day
He lost his grip, and it landed that way
Haphazard, his claim to fame
Ass backwards with Dartboard Dwayne

If it can’t be explained,
it’s probably Dartboard Dwayne
He’s got the wildest aim,
and it can’t be tamed
It’s an awkward game
for Dartboard Dwayne