"Timeshare Nightmare"
(lyrics by Brad Kleiman/Joe Braverman; music by Joe Braverman)

The theme park's on me
One whole day for free
Ain't it shaping up to be a great vacation?
Get your free tickets,
but first pay me a visit
and listen to my little presentation

They say nothing's for free,
and now I know it's true
Now I am aware
I'm in a timeshare nightmare


You'll only do that for me
if I do this for you
Now I am ensnared
in your timeshare nightmare


Cool Atlantic breeze
Newly planted trees
Sweet, fresh honey from local bees
Complete relaxation

We cleared away the thickets
Upgraded all the spickets
It's acute, as cute as cute gets
And you can not dipute this 

They say nothing's for free,

and now I know it's true
Now I am aware
I'm in a timeshare nightmare

You'll only do that for me
if I do this for you

I've become ensnared 
in your timeshare nightmare