"Staten Island Rinkadink"
(lyrics by Brad Kleiman; music by Jim Williams)

Got a pair of sparkling,
baby blue rollerskates
Not a care for anything
that I can't tolerate

Great party, though
Feel like a marble on the edge of a plate
It's an art, y'know,
looking this graceful on rollerskates

It's roller disco time,
not roller derby
I can go for a twist of lime,
but don't ya squirt me

And I'm not even holding a drink
I'm a ditzy dumb-bell, but I'm not a cheap date
Give me a beer and clear the rink
I'm a glitzy gazelle when I'm on my rollerskates